Why am I so moody in perimenopause and menopause?

Today's menopause chat transcript:

Eileen: Today on A.Vogel Talks Menopause, Sarah and I are going to be talking about why you can feel moody in perimenopause and menopause.

One of the things I get on the Helpline on a regular basis is women coming to me about their moods. They're worried about their mood swings. They feel maybe they're getting out of control. They may find that they're getting moody and snappy with their loved ones and their colleagues at work, and they're finding that they just can't cope with it all. And they're wanting to know nice simple, easy tips in order to help themselves.

So, Sarah, from your point of view, when you're giving advice in health food stores, what sort of questions are you getting asked?

Sarah: I'm being asked for help by women who feel really irritable and angry, particularly when it's affecting relationships, and those who maybe get a lot of mood swings. So, women who feel exhausted and drained and low one minute, and then the next minute they're really cranky and irritable because something small like the dishwasher has set them off.

That destabilised mood can be quite frightening. And again, it can really affect people's relationships. So, I suppose what I'm asked on the shop floor is what we can recommend for women to to help them regulate their mood so that it's not up and down so much.

Eileen: So, do you think in perimenopause, it's different causes to being in menopause itself? What's your take on perimenopause mood swings? What are the likely triggers?

Sarah: Well, I definitely think it's that stage of early perimenopause when your oestrogen levels can become quite dominant in comparison to your progesterone levels. That kind of profile can give you a lot of irritable, angry moods, particularly that week before your period; and when someone's having quite a short cycle anyway, that pre-menstrual week can be coming fast and furious. And it's quite draining having mood swings that are up and down all the time.

It's volatile, but it's also draining on the energy, and it is very much a low progesterone high oestrogen kind of scenario.

Eileen: What we find in the menopause and post-menopause is that when oestrogen levels start to fall, that's the point where low mood can strike again. But then you can get a sudden boost of oestrogen as the body tries to rebalance, and so one day you can be happy and the next day you can be down in the depths of despair. And a lot of women really worry that there is something seriously wrong in that situation.

Sarah: Yes, definitely.

Eileen: One question I get regularly is, "Am I going mad?" and the answer is no! Most times it's just because your hormone levels are going all over the place.

Eileen: So, what I tend to recommend would be looking after your blood sugar levels. It's really common, especially in menopause if you're not eating regularly, for your blood sugar to dip – and it can be very sudden.

And I know for me, that was a huge issue in menopause. I'm very small and I need to eat little and often to keep my blood sugar stable. And if I was even half an hour late with a meal, I could feel my mood slipping very, very quickly. So, for me, keeping my blood sugar stable was my saving grace. And also, remember that dehydration will have a similar effect.

But I know that there can be other things going on in your life that can cause mood swings. So, it's not necessarily always the hormones to blame.

Sarah: Just from having worked in health stores myself and advising on the shop floor, I always assume that no one gets enough sleep. I just think sleep is a huge factor, because if you don't get enough sleep, obviously it's going to affect your mood, it's going to cause your mood to fluctuate, and you're definitely going to feel more irritable if you're tired and more drained.

When you don't sleep well, it really affects how you see your body. Studies have shown that women who sleep less have poorer body image. And that makes perfect sense to me.
And in terms of the blood sugar issues, I mean, just think about that week before your period. You eat more! So that's the blood sugar level imbalance that you talk about.
Eileen: And it's always the wrong foods, isn't it? It's the sugary foods and the caffeine.

Sarah: I definitely don't want celery that week before my period!
The other thing is managing stress levels, because if you're stressed all the time, you won't be looking after yourself. You may not recognise that stress is really impacting you; it's self-awareness we need.
If you're flying off the handle with no notice, that can be alarming for you and for other people. But stress can really drive that kind of behaviour. So, recognising that maybe you have a little bit too much on your plate and you can't do everything is important.

Being self-aware that you can't be everything to everyone can be a real penny-dropping moment for women when they're learning to manage their mood, particularly when the hormones are fluctuating crazily.

Eileen: You know, perimenopause and menopause, this is a huge learning ground for us as women to realise what we can and can't do, and what we want to do, and also what makes us happy. And, I know, sometimes women in this particular age group have got work, we have maybe got children, we may be looking after elderly parents. So, responsibilities are being piled on us the whole time, at the same time that our bodies are trying to cope with all these changes. And I do sometimes think that too much is going on at once. We get miserable, we get unhappy and we get snappy.

What can help your mood during perimenopause and menopause

Eileen: So, there are a lot of things that you can do to help yourself, things like eating well and making sure you keep your blood sugar stable. Getting that rainbow of vegetables on a plate is the easiest way to eat well. And prioritising sleep, absolutely, definitely, is a must!

Exercise too. A lot of people say to me, "I'm too busy to exercise"; but exercise is so important because it releases happy hormones. It lifts us up. And also, if you think about it, it's half an hour away from daily life. So, it's a way we can shut ourselves off from the daily stressors as well.

Also, stay hydrated and practice deep breathing techniques to help you relax and stay calm. So many people tell me that this really helps when they feel a mood coming upon them. And, YouTube is fabulous. You can get lots of videos to teach you how to do simple relaxation techniques such as deep breathing. Plus, 30 minutes of me-time is also worth its weight in gold.

I had one lady tell me that she started following my advice by having her 30 minutes me-time, and she finds now that if she doesn't do it her family basically drags her into the spare room because they've benefited too: they're not having a grumpy mum and a grumpy wife anymore. So, not only does she feel better with that half hour, but it's made a huge difference in family life as well.

So, and I know obviously shop-wise that there are things that you recommend.

Sarah: Yes, Agnus castus. This is one that I find really useful. Agnus castus is a herb that can absolutely help balance our hormones, particularly in that scenario where you've got high oestrogen, low progesterone, and it's one that you can use to relieve PMS symptoms.

And it's helpful in perimenopause when your periods are still regular, for that mood-changing and the mood swings.

Eileen: As long as you're not on any hormonal contraceptives and hormonal medication (Agnus castus is not suitable in this instance).

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For symptoms of:

• PMS
• Menstrual cramps
• Breast tenderness
• Bloating
• Irritability
• Mood swings

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Eileen: And of course, things like magnesium and B vitamins can help your mood too.

Sarah: Yes, B vitamins, and also vitamin D, because vitamin D is as much of a hormone as a vitamin. And magnesium, magnesium, magnesium, and water, water, water, water!

Eileen: Great, thanks, Sarah. As I've said before, we can chat for ages and ages, so I hope you have found this one helpful.
For those of you that have been in that mood scenario, what did you find helped you? Please share because there are plenty of women out there that are looking for tips and help.
So until then, I'll see you next week for another edition of A.Vogel Talks Menopause.

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